One Thing Leads To...

I recently started playing on a weekend women's doubles tennis team. I am relatively new to tennis, and I was still learning all the rules when I started playing matches. I started with a rating of "0" and was playing in the lowest tier of teams, which made complete sense because I had no experience playing matches.

I thought at that level, the matches would be friendly. While most of them are, there are a few "bad apples" who are very intense and aggressive about winning, trying to get a higher rating and advance, by cheating, or at least not playing fair. In my first match ever, a player on the opposing team called the ball she hit over the net onto our side as being "in." I could clearly see that it was out. I looked at my teammate with a confused look, shrugged, and let it go. That match turned out to be really close - so close that we might have won, had that one call been fair! I later learned that players are only supposed to call the ball on the side where they are playing, so clearly the "bad apple" was wrong. I decided at that point to not let any "bad apples" bully my team; and I also realized how important one little thing can be in determining an outcome.

To give my body a boost, I decided to go a month without alcohol in March. Mind you, at one point I was considering becoming a sommelier because I appreciate wine so much. While I did have one glass of wine that month, I otherwise took a break from alcohol. Surprisingly, when I drank that glass of wine I didn't really enjoy it. Thinking it was a fluke, I tried a glass of wine the next month - Bordeaux even, which is the very best wine, in my opinion, and I didn't like it! My fiancé also lost his "taste" for wine after we took that break from having it at home. Now it tastes like medicine to me. I'm not sad, though, because I realized that for me wine had become a bad habit - a reaction from a stressful day or week at work.

The next thing that happened is I realized snacking, and eating generally, had been providing comfort in the day, and it was starting to show on the scale! So I started being mindful about what I ate and when I ate. I experimented with fasting, sticking to an eight hour eating window most days, and eating primarily protein, vegetables, and fruit. In three weeks I dropped thirteen pounds, felt a lot less bloated, and felt better in my clothes.

Speaking of clothes...I've been focusing on building a quality wardrobe for every season, reflecting my own personal style, that will stand the test of time, and that I will love. An issue that was weighing on my mind is that I needed to pay down a credit card that has a generous 18 months with no interest introductory offer. It helped me build my spring and summer wardrobe, but now it was becoming time to chip away at it. I decided to do a clothing fast, or "no buy". I began to realize that I would shop online to "relax". Shopping for clothes is really fun to me, but it didn't seem like that should be a go-to for relaxation. I don't do much social media, but I would occasionally scroll on Substack or Pinterest which could suck me in a little.

When scrolling on Substack, I saw a picture of Jeff Bezos on his yacht with his significant other. The photo was pointing out all the terrible impacts on the environment from the things in the picture. I felt completely disgusted by the image. I opened the Amazon app on my phone, and it was waving at me or something. There was something moving in the app without me doing anything, and I realized that it had been sucking me in. Who knows all the psychology behind apps like that. I decided to break up with Jeff. And just like after any healthy break up, that's when the really good changes started to happen! I went ahead and deleted Substack and Pinterest too. I also deleted the Starbucks app, willing to do without the occasional bone they would throw as a reward, Panera app, Jersey Mike's app.

My big issue was that I needed to put down my phone, and do something in real life for relaxation and comfort. I decided to shop for books and magazines in person, so that I would have some healthy entertainment. I shopped first at Walmart so see what they have - they had a decent selection of magazines, plus I found the perfect big iced tea/iced coffee glasses I had been searching for on Amazon. Amazon wanted me to buy like ten of them for $30. As I only wanted a couple, I was pleased to find them at Walmart for a dollar each. I also bought a little analog clock to keep by my bed so that I didn't need to have my phone nearby to use as an alarm. Then I went to Barnes and Noble to go to the bookstore in person, which I hadn't done in nearly ten years. It was an amazing experience! I had thought that going to libraries was sufficient, but there is something so satisfying about seeing all the books displayed so nice and being able to buy them, including the newest releases - it is like a mansion of knowledge and pretty things with intimate rooms on different topics! 

Coming home with a new biography on R.E.M., an old biography of the Doors, and magazines on yoga, gardening, and healthy eating, I was inspired to implement what I had learned about "merchandizing your closet" to create a mini bookstore by my bed. Now I had a fun little bookstore to pick out something to read to relax. And it is working! I am finally developing a daily yoga practice; feeling really inspired by reading about rock stars; and I'm even putting together a program (or "programme" as my European yoga magazine says) to get past the "intermediate French" hump, by having fun learning and reading French (grammar has always been fun for me!). I feel more in control of my time and I am planning my hobbies more intentionally.

I have extensively limited the use of my phone, as I see it was sucking me in when that wasn't really my intention. It was sometimes leading me, especially to buy things, or eat things! Now I have the basic framework of "checking" my phone only three times: morning, noon, and night. To me, all this comes down to steering your life in a direction you want to go, savoring each moment for what it can be, and doing what you want to do. CARPE DIEM!!!